It’s said so often it’s almost a cliché, but communication is key to a successful relationship. It’s less commonly acknowledged that communication is just as important for ending relationships.
It’s true, though. If you’ve decided to end your marriage, communicating with your spouse can help you make your divorce more efficient and less stressful. That’s why mediation is such an effective method for handling divorces.
Understanding Divorce Mediation in California
Mediation is a process in which two parties with a dispute meet with a neutral third party to negotiate solutions or settlements. In divorce mediation, the goal is for the spouses to prepare an agreement they can present to the court instead of having the judge decide matters on their behalf.
The mediator is not there to make decisions for the couple. Instead, they are present to make communication easier. They keep meetings on topic, ensure everyone remains professional, and guide the participants through their negotiations until they achieve a compromise they can both accept.
So, why choose mediation over litigation? There are many benefits to working together on a settlement instead of allowing a judge to decide. Mediation is typically faster and less stressful than scheduling and attending lengthy court hearings. More importantly, it allows couples to shape their own settlements so they both walk away satisfied. In contrast, litigation often result in neither spouse being happy. In short, mediation is faster and leads to better outcomes than litigation.
Preparing for Divorce Mediation
If you’re interested in mediation, you can start preparing now. Doing your research and choosing the right team make all the difference in how successful your negotiations will be. You can prepare by:
- Contacting a skilled divorce attorney familiar with alternative dispute resolution methods. During a divorce, your first step should be to talk to an experienced lawyer. If you’re interested in mediation, you can reach out to an attorney who understands the process to get individual guidance on what to expect.
- Talking to your spouse. Mediation requires both parties to negotiate in good faith. Establish open communication with your spouse now about why you want to use mediation.
- Setting goals for the process. Together or separately, you should set goals for your settlement. Having your goals and priorities in order will make it easier to stay focused on what matters to you during negotiations.
- Choosing a good mediator. You and your spouse need to agree on a mediator before the process can begin. Your attorney can help you find a mediator who fits your preferences.
- Gathering necessary documentation. You must provide your spouse with a comprehensive financial disclosure before you start negotiating. Collect documents like your tax returns, pay stubs, bank and investment account statements, and other financial paperwork to provide a clear picture of your finances before you attend mediation.
Once you’ve accomplished these steps, you can begin the actual mediation process.
The Role of Communication in Mediating Agreements
Communication is at the heart of all negotiation. Mediators facilitate clear and open communication, making it easier to achieve better solutions. This assistance is particularly valuable in conflicts like divorce, where participants may be predisposed to arguing or talking past each other.
During meetings, your mediator will help with a variety of communication issues by:
- Maintaining a professional atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable
- Ensuring you and your spouse fully understand each other
- Clarifying matters by rephrasing things or asking for more information
- Suggesting compromises or other ways of seeing things that may not be immediately obvious
- Keeping meetings focused on the subject at hand by redirecting arguments or digressions
By doing so, the mediator makes it easier to find mutually satisfying compromises without negotiations turning into fights.
Managing Potential Challenges in Divorce Mediation
As beneficial as mediation is, there are still many potential challenges you may face during the process. Common issues that your mediator can help you resolve include:
- Strong Emotions: Getting divorced is an emotional process. You may find that certain subjects cause a strong and unexpected emotional response while you’re trying to negotiate. Your mediator can help redirect conversation, call for a break so you can collect yourself, or end the meeting if necessary so you can return to the table in a better state of mind.
- Communication Roadblocks: Many couples have spent so long having certain arguments that they cannot see any alternatives to their own points of view. When these communication roadblocks come up, the mediator will help you find common ground.
- Power Imbalances: If you and your spouse have significantly different incomes or resources, there may be a power imbalance during your negotiations. The mediator’s presence should help mitigate that imbalance, ensuring that the spouse with more power does not take advantage of the other person.
Finalizing the Divorce Mediation Process in California
Over the course of several meetings, you will hopefully a mutually satisfying compromise on everything involved in your divorce. Once you do, your attorneys will review your terms to make sure they follow California law.
If so, they will convert your agreed-upon terms into an official spousal settlement agreement. This document will be filed with the court and incorporated into your final divorce decree. You can now relax and celebrate successfully mediating your divorce.
Prepare for Mediation With Expert California Divorce Attorneys
Mediation is one of the most efficient and cost-effective ways to create your divorce settlement. However, communication is fundamental to mediating your divorce. If you’re considering mediation or another alternative dispute resolution method, you should start the process by talking to an experienced Palo Alto divorce lawyer.
At the Law Offices of Diane J.N. Morin, Inc., we specialize in alternative dispute resolution for divorce. We have decades of experience representing clients as they pursue mediation and other collaborative law approaches. We can help you prepare for negotiations and ensure your rights are respected as you discuss your final settlement. Learn more about how we can assist you by scheduling your consultation today.