Telling your children you and their other parents plan to split is almost always a difficult conversation. It may, too, prove to be a conversation your kids always remember. However, you may be able to make it less stressful or painful by planning out the conversation ahead of time and making sure the conversation remains age-appropriate for your child.
When having this important, yet difficult, conversation, consider taking the following steps.
Broach the subject together
You may not feel much like working in conjunction with your ex right now. However, if you are able to do it one more time, your kids may benefit because of it. Presenting this information together helps your kids recognize that you may still be able to form a united front when need be. If your kids are far apart in age, consider having one basic conversation together and then later, having age-appropriate conversations with each child.
Give reasons, if appropriate
When possible and appropriate, tell your kids the reason, or some of the reasons, for your split. If adultery was a root cause, you may want to leave this information out. However, if you simply grew apart, or if the love between you turned platonic, as opposed to romantic, telling your kids this may help them understand and adjust.
Remember, when having the conversation about divorce, be transparent and clear, but above all, be reassuring. Remind your kids that they have nothing to do with the split and that they will continue to be both of your priorities, regardless of whether you remain married.