When I was a kid I loved the roller coaster, I just couldn’t get enough. And when my Grandmother came to visit one year during the annual fair she let my cousin and me repeat this pleasure more times than our mothers thought proper.
Divorce is often described as a roller coaster because in many ways the experience is similar.
The anxiety of anticipation and not knowing what to expect before the ride begins. The mounting fear as you wait for the first drop. The sigh of relief that you made it through what was probably the worst. Only to be tossed about through curves and a small yet stomach-wrenching series of small ups and downs. And just when you thought you couldn’t take any more you’re deposited at the end, slightly off balance, glad that you made it, but not sure if you will do it again.
Just like a roller coaster it is always easier when you can anticipate some of what your experience might be and know that you, like many others will make it to the end.
This is a loss, whether it is welcomed or a surprise, which will undeniably include a grieving process that comes with a variety of emotions that can take you for the ride of your life. These cannot and should not be denied; but it also important to know they are not what define you as a person.
What can you do?
- Make sure you have a support system; it is good to have people you can talk to about your experience.
- Have an outlet; regular exercise can help elevate your mood in a natural, positive way.
- Start a Journal; take a few minutes every day to write down your feelings, or experience. This is a great way to release stress and reflect on what is important to you.
- Avoid playing the blame game; It is easy to get into the rut and cycle of blaming others, things are not all your fault, but they are also not anyone else’s either.